In the programme Grey's Anatomy, there is a scene that I love in which Christina says to Meredith
"Do not let what he wants eclipse what you need.
He is very dreamy, but he is not the sun.
We can often put other peoples needs, wants, desires, and opinions before our own and give away our power and forget that we are the sun. Whether it's by
Revolving our lives around a partner or a new love interest because we are scared to lose them.
Working in a career that our parents wanted us to follow because we didn't want to disappoint.
Going to places that we don't want to go to because we feel like we need to fit in.
Experiencing burn out in our job because we take on too much trying to convince everyone that we deserve that role.
We never intend to do this and if you ask yourself at what point you made a conscious decision to put other people's wants before your needs I guarantee there will be no defining moment. Instead, it is a build up of continuous little choices made through fear, seeking approval, or not trusting your intuition that have ultimately led to you being last on your list or in situations that you don't want to be in.
People often think that putting themselves first is selfish or narcissistic but it isn't, it is a necessity.
We all must compromise with loved ones and at times know when their needs and wants need to come first, especially when we want to support them.
But we must remember balance and healthy boundaries.
So, step away and be in your own energy.
Focus on your breath and tune in to your body.
Feel in to how the situation, the person, the invite, the job, the activity, the opinions, the wants, desires and needs of others makes you feel.
If it feels good then go ahead and say yes or welcome the situation in, but if it feels sticky or makes you retract then don't pursue and simply say thank you, but no.
You choose who you allow to be in your energy, what thoughts and opinions you take and process, how and where you spend your energy and what compromises you are willing and not willing to make because ultimately you have to live with the decisions that you make and walk the path that you choose.
Saying no is a healthy boundary because your energy, your light, your essence is important and needs to be protected.
Remember, that you are the sun, you are the fire, you are the light, you are the centre of your Universe and when you look after your wants, needs, desires, and self, you burn bright and therefore shine brighter.
Choose your health
Choose your goals
Choose what brings you joy
Choose your tribe
Choose how you spend your time
Choose your career
Choose your passions
Choose you, over and over again.