Herbie has had to visit the vet a number of times over the last month due to an operation, check-ups, an emergency, and his annual vaccinations. Upon walking into the surgery on the day of his vaccinations, there was a beautiful greyhound lying on a dog bed under the trees surrounded by his family who were having to make the heart-breaking decision to put him down. My heart really went out to them and the grief and pain they were feeling.
The week before, I had experienced Herbie having a seizure in my car while I was driving over a motorway bridge. I cannot explain how scary it was, as I thought he was having a heart attack or a stroke and was going to die. After rushing him to the vet and having an emergency appointment, it was clear that it was a seizure; hopefully, a one-off.
The incident certainly triggered my fight-or-flight response, and I was so thankful that Herbie was okay. But because of this scare, and then seeing the greyhound outside the vet's, it got me thinking about the grief we experience when we lose a pet.
A pet is a member of the family, and in my case, Herbie is my child.
For people who live alone, pets are companions. They are the reason to get up in the morning, provide a daily routine, and bring comfort in those lonely moments.
A pet brings joy, fun, and love into our lives.
So, the pain of losing them is incredibly difficult and can also be complicated depending on factors surrounding their death.
While experiencing loss is an inevitable part of owning a pet, it doesn't make it easy when the time eventually comes. Therefore, I wanted to share some coping tips.
Validate your grief
A pet is a member of your family, and depending on how many family members you have, it could be the only one. So, losing a pet is heart-breaking, difficult, and upsetting, whether people understand it or not. They are not "just a dog," "just a cat," "just a horse," etc. They are animals that you share a special bond with and have immense love for.
Your grief is valid. Your loss is real. Your pain is understandable.
Feel and experience your emotions
After my experiences with grief and loss and acknowledging that my body was holding the emotions that I wouldn't allow myself to feel, I now encourage people to feel what they need to feel without embarrassment or judgment. Emotions are energy in motion and so they need to be felt to be moved; bottling them up doesn't help.
Hold a funeral
A funeral helps us acknowledge the death, encourage the expression of the grief being felt and allows us to say goodbye. So ignore people who think it’s inappropriate to hold a funeral for a pet, and do what feels right for you.
Give yourself time to grieve
The grieving process can’t be forced or hurried and there is no “normal” schedule or timeframe for grieving.
Be kind to yourself
The stress of losing a pet can be overwhelming and can impact your nervous system, so it is really important to take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Breathwork, relaxation, spending time in nature, eating nourishing food, engaging in gentle exercise, spending time with people who care about you or have experienced the loss of a pet, and anything else that brings love and compassion to yourself.
If your pet has crossed the rainbow bridge and you are struggling with the loss and the overwhelming feelings of grief, please do get in touch with me. I would be honoured to help you.
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