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  • Writer's pictureCoaching Within

When Do You Close The Door?

December is here and with it being the final month of the year it brings with it a lot of reflection and realisation that another year has nearly come to an end. We all review the year and ask ourselves:

Were our New Year's resolutions met?

Did we make the most of the time we were given this year?

Did we take the leap and jump out of our comfort zones?

Did we learn? Did we grow? Did we evolve?

Did we simply survive? As we reach the end of December, we will be closing the door on another year and opening the door to 2024.

But what are you choosing to close the door on and choosing to not take in to your future?

Whilst we have no control over time and the year ending and rolling into another one, we do have control over what we end and walk away from, whether that be a person, a habit, a job, a lifestyle or a version of ourselves.

Closing a door can be hard because with the closure comes endings, loss and change and with that a part of our security and stability. But yet change can bring about so much beauty, adventure, growth and wonder; we just have to be willing to want it because we can't become what we want by remaining who we are.

So here are my tips to help you decide whether or not to close the door:

1. Ask yourself what your future self would thank you for.

This is one of the best questions I have ever been asked at a time when I was struggling to make a decision and it is something that I continue to use to this day.

Think about the future that you want, how it looks, how it feels, and your self in it, and then ask whether the thing that you are considering ending fits in with that future.

What would your future self living the future that you desire want you to decide to do right now? What decision will get you close to that future? What is your future self cheering you on to do so that you can close the gap between your present and your future dream?

2. Consider the fact that 'if you always do what you have always done, then you will always get what you have always got'.

They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting the different results. So ask yourself, are you repeating the same habit, the same limiting belief, the same relationships, the same decisions and expecting something to change? Is it time to close the door and try something different to receive something different?

3. Base the decision to close the door on your value of self.

Every decision and choice that you make is a reflection on how much you value your self and your worth. So ask whether keeping this door open supports your magnificent worth and your invaluable worth. If it doesn't then the door needs to be closed.

4. Reflect on whether you are growing and evolving or staying still and stagnant?

Everything that we experience, everyone that we meet and every decision impacts who we are and shapes our growth but that growth is not meant to stop and not everything can remain in our lives in order to evolve. As pruning stimulates plants to grow, we too must cut away what is holding us back from growing and reaching our full potential.

If you keep the door open and remain in the job, in the same lifestyle, in the relationship, in the same habits and mindset, are you growing or stagnating.

5. Decide whether fear of change is holding you back.

Ultimately closing a door on something brings change and with change comes the unknown which can feel scary and create the perception of lack of control.

We can often prefer to stay in what we know regardless of whether it brings us joy because it is known to us and therefore feels familiar.

If the fear of change and the unknown is holding you back from closing the door then I encourage you to reflect on how you are choosing to stay in something that does not bring you joy just because it is familiar. Comfort zones are wonderful things but they should be temporary because if you sit in one too long eventually they become a prison.

Instead of leaning into fear, lean into love and the fact that you deserve to live a life that brings you joy.

Unknown does not mean worse, it simply means different and the joy of that is that you decide what the difference is.

Remember, when one door closes another one opens.

You can't stand in two doorways, so decide which door you want to walk through.

If you need help with closing a door and changing your habits, mindset, life or direction then please do get in touch. I would be honoured to work with you.

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